Posted 4 days ago

Please let this be a real thing. #DaVinci #Robot #Operation #Bzzt

Posted 1 week ago

#MyFuckingWeather app tells the truth. #75AndSunny

Posted 1 week ago

In Springfield, humming “we put the Spring in Springfield” because #SimpsonsDidIt

Posted 1 week ago

The ultimate in MomJeans, with a shirt tucked to Jesus, brought to you by the class of 1999. #tbt

Posted 1 week ago

waltdisneysdaily:

It’s not his fault. You know that.

Brb, tearing up because of gif feelz from a movie I’ve never seen.

Posted 1 week ago

Also apparently I got drunk* and ordered a tutu. Because of course I did.
*was on modcloth when I was sleep deprived

Posted 2 weeks ago

In continuing news of “the lamest lame to ever lame,” I am rendered incapable of finishing ONE BOTTLE of blueberry beer because I’m like “ok now it’s naptime” and cork it for later. I have so many groceries. #thuglife

Posted 2 weeks ago

This sums up… Well just about everything right now. Insomnia paid off at 4 am when I spotted and tape-trapped these two bastards way closer to my face than I would prefer. The hotel would not permit me to burn it to the ground. #bedbugs #homewoodsuites #holyoke #nope #killitwithfire

Posted 3 weeks ago

Marge gets it.

(Source: tendads)

Posted 3 weeks ago

That would be the dent my fat ass put in my couch over the weekend. #mamajunebooboo